Meg's Mom Makes Music

I am Megan’s mother and my goal for almost the past two years has been to be in the moment, helping and fixing where I can, striving to keep love and gratitude and my love for family, life, friends, uppermost.

I think that for the most part I have risen to the challenge of meeting that most important goal and learned some important things about accepting what life brings - with joy when possible and always with hope, certainty, care. I say with a mother’s pride that I have had shining examples as I witness the amazing strength of both my daughters, Erin and Megan.

But now I need to try to work toward a goal that is deeply personal, annoying and complex in that it probably has some deep psychological component that has made it an elusive goal since childhood. (I would guess it is about 50 percent doomed to failure given my track record. ) So here goes: I am in love with music. I am a shower singer, a kitchen dancer and am moved to tears at least twice a day listening to the radio – and that isn’t because of the news – it’s NPR and VPR classical! Growing up with a father who was a gifted musician and renowned cello teacher, spending many hours in rehearsals and many concert venues, it is not surprising that I need music all the time. Any music it turns out – any genre at all will eventually capture my attention. So why is that I am not able to play an instrument? Have I tried? Oh – let me count: Cello, piano, flute briefly, recorder, even a brief stint of solfeggio to learn theory The operating word is “brief”. I can work at lots of things like the Ever Ready rabbit, but not it seems at learning an instrument. Two years ago, I mentioned to Paul that I thought a uke might be ok even with some arthritis in my hands. My husband has never – in close to 50 years – not indulged my whims. In fact, he has encouraged and supported them always. There are multiple examples throughout our years together: A living bee colony in the window of my East Harlem classroom with a tube to the outside? No problem… A darkroom built for developing film in that same classroom?  Done… A new floor in the downstairs bathroom after I ripped out the old floor while he was at work? Actually, his reception of that whim was not as enthusiastic. Anyway...together we bought an inexpensive uke – a soprano. I began to study and even had a few lessons. Then, I realized that I should have a bigger uke. We bought one and I continued – not just on my own but with wonderful guidance from a dear friend during a week on Star Island. And now, after finding little time for it over this past year,  I am having a tug of war with myself. Here is endless time and opportunity to strum away in isolation. It is day 25 and I can see my ukes hanging on the chair. It is surprising how little I accomplish during these strange down times in general but I believe my inertia in regard to holding a uke is because I really do not think I can do it and it is a silly pipe dream. Today, I am going to: Download some youtube help Sing along (loudly) and give it a really good try. My goal is to see if I like the outcome of this attempt. And if I don’t, I will bring some closure to this little yearning I have had much of my adult life. Then I will gratefully hand on those Ukes to my grandkids or a music school. AND - NO MATTER WHAT ELSE I DO I have just accomplished my second goal with Paul of making a monthly payment to the research fund Mike and Meg set up at Mass General to further research into the cure for oligodrodenglioma. YES!!!!!