March 21, 2020 Update from Marion

An update from Marion!

"The best plan is one that you follow.’ Ha.

Today I tested my BS. It was a week off schedule but , as we all know, no one could have a ‘normal’ week last week. It was in the back of my mind amidst solo parenting while my husband was away, incessant email and twitter checking, grocery shopping, and scrambling to figure out work online- I needed to test my BS, that was the plan. I had put in 10 weeks working my butt off (literally) following a lifting plan, eating clean and sleeping as much as my life would allow.

We’ve managed to settle into a somewhat routine of a routine this week and Ethan and I decided today (Friday) would be a good day to test since it was going to be in the 60s. I think on any other journey I would have just scrapped it and said, ‘Ah well, I’ll start over later.’ But becoming a part of this Our Common Thread community laced me into a fabric of accountability. I never felt like it was pressure but I did/do feel like I put something out into the world in solidarity. We don’t always get to start over. Some things we have stick with. With these things we have to try to embrace the perfect imperfections in what we call our lives, our bodies and our spirits.

I didn’t make the lift. I tried twice. After the first fail I went to the bathroom and tried to pump myself up. I swore at myself and tried to channel the maternal fiery beasts that sleep within me. (They came out during childbirth, surely they could come out today if I asked.) But I failed again.

I cried. I cried longer that I probably should have considering everything that is going on in this world. But I also know that I was crying because we are all going through a lot right now. Sure, different versions. But we’re all living in the fabric. And you gotta let yourself feel all the feelings.

As my wise husband says, ‘On to the next’. I’ll take the weekend off and think about how to keep chipping away at my goal, amidst (not despite) everything that is swirling around us.

If you listen closely to the beginning of the video, you’ll hear two tiny claps. A girl cheering on her mama cuz that’s what we do in our family. And that, my friends, is how I keep my chin up.

To be continued..."